Sep 1 2010

What To Settle On…Part 15…Page 88.

Posted by Sandra McLeskey under Uncategorized, all categories, want-to-be-writers | Permalink | | Leave A Comment | No Comments

Dear Ed;
You ask me to think about what number represented my lost because of the accident of April 24th 2007. In response, I’m going to list the things that have been major problems or issues to date.
      1. From day one, I have had trouble with incontinence. That means from the day I left the hospital until now. I have to go any where from 10 to 20 times a day, without warning, no matter where I am. There have been many times that I have messed all over my self and had to be cleaned up with the help of a CNA. Then there are the nights. I’ve woke in the night to find myself buried in a pool of urine or fecal matter and would have to be cleaned, pretty much like a new born. It has not improve, if any thing it may have gotten worse. I’ve tried drugs; causing me to loose my vision until I stopped drugs. Stomach cramps from mild to severe. Can’t get a decent night’s sleep.
      2. Then there is my heart. I had atria fibrillation (AF) before the accident. It is a very fast and irregular contraction of the atria. In AF, the heart’s electrical signal doesn’t begin in the SA node. Instead, the signal begins in another part of the atria or in the nearby pulmonary veins and is conducted abnormally.
      When this happens, the electrical signal doesn’t travel trough the normal pathways in the atria. Instead, it spreads throughout the atria in a fast and disorganized manner.
      This causes the walls of the atria to quiver very fast (fibrillate) instead of beating normally. As a result, the atria aren’t able to pump blood into the ventricles the way they should.
      After the accident, my heart developed ventricular tachycardia, a fast, regular beating of the ventricles that may last for only; a few seconds or much longer.
      A few beats of ventricular tachycardia often doesn’t cause problems. However, episodes that last for more than a few seconds can be dangerous. Ventricular tachycardia can turn into other, more dangerous arrthymias, such as v-fib.
      V-fib occurs when disorganized electrical signals make the ventricles quiver instead of pump normally. Without the ventricles pumping blood out to the body, you’ll lose consciousness within seconds and die within minutes if not treated.
      To prevent death, the condition must be treated right away with an electric shock to the heart called defibrillation.
      As you can see, this is a far more dangerous condition than atrial fibrillation.
      3. My left ankle was cut off. Yes, it was served from the left leg. The left foot hung from the leg by a string of skin. One of the doctors in the ER said to Dr. Hamilton, “ I don’t think we can save this foot.” Dr. Hamilton replied, Let me see it.” He checked it with a stethoscope and found a pulse and said, “We are going to save this foot.”
      He did save it and I was grateful, but it does not work as it should. It has caused me to fall numerous times because it turns under. Not only was it my good foot before the accident of 2007, but now it makes both feet work against walking with any certainty.
      4. Nightmares haunted what little sleep I got for months, years…
      Then I went to see Dr. Christy Jones, a neurophysiologist. She tested me for five days. She found that my brain had been injured, causing several side effects. I have very bad headaches. Some days they cause my head to ache for hours, nothing helps.
      I will never be the same! I can’t expect to have a normal life, get married again etc. I’m even limited in activities I can take part in. Taking vacations are hard to think about, much less to do. I would have to take so much equipment for bathing and getting about in a wheelchair, etc. I can walk a little, 3 to 5 feet at a time, but the pain I’m in while I’m trying to walk does not let me enjoy much. So, the never ending nightmare never ends. Once the other side settles with us, it will be over for them, but for me it never will. The sleepless nights, the waking in a bed of urine or fecal matter, the continual cramps in my gut, the continual  pyhton pains in my left foot whether I’m sitting or walking, the nightmares, the lonely days and nights being alone…for no one will want to deal with all my medical issues …would you? I’m not feeling sorry for myself, I’m just being realistic. I’s glad I’m alive for my childen’s sake and I’ve even found things to take up my day during the day light hours.I love to write and sped time when I’m not so tired doing just that. I think it would be nice to swim each day, but having to get dressed to onl;y get undressed to put on a swim suit to swim. I’ve been to those facilityand it is a living nightmare, no thank you. What I’m thinking about is an indoor pool in my house…something I can get up and do  in my home. When Leah and I first talked, I had not had to live in my shoes the way I am having to do now so I have a different perspective  now. I’ve set up what I think helps me  to decide what to ask as a settlement.  

                                                                          5,000000        6,000000        7,000000         8,0000000  

               Attoneys fees  30%                _ 1,500000         1,800000           2,100000         2,4000000 

                Medicaid Payback                 _  1,000000        1,000000         1,000000          1,0000000                                  

                Balance                                     _  3,500000          4,200000         4,900000          5,6000000 

      When I look at these and think that my life is what it is. I have not stopped suffering. I will suffer for years to come. Would dying have been better than a life of pain and suffering?  Will the money last a life time,. especially paying a salary to someone to stay around the clock to help take care of me. I usually don’t talk about such things, but I want you to think what my day is like , how limited I am. Would you like to exchange places with me. Would they? So I would ask for 7 million, knowing that you and Leah will get the 30% and that I have to payback medicaid. There are lots of things that will have to be paid for because of my condition, like pull-ups and pads, 200 dollars a month. Things you and Leah want have to take out of your share. I’ll have to have something to pull my wheelchair or a van something I don’t even like.   I don’t think you have even thought what it will be like for me. I haven’t even fingured in negoiating down. I want to cry…There is nothing that can change or make it better. Let’s say that I live 20 years…25years…30years… 35years…40years? I will have to pay taxes for any money that I might make form the money. It gets very compllicated. It is not simple.

I will stop here. You told me about another person who you thought was worse off than me. That’s when I realized that you really don’t know what my life is l ike..Try living in my shoes, day and night. At least the guy that has a hole in his tail can be fixed, can have surgry. I’ve already had five surgery on my heart, trying to convert it back to a normal rthym. It failed and I had to have a tachycardia surgry  called an elation. They tried to correct the electrical firing. It helped, but I still have to take medicine and use oxygen on a daily basis. Somedays I think I might die still. Some nights, I wake and am afraid to go back to sleep. The oxyen is something else I will have to pay for month;y. I’m so tried … I just want to lay down and reat.

Sincerely,

Sandra McLeskey

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Aug 30 2010

I Will Never Be The Same…Part 14…Page 87

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Ed , my lawyer called and said that we had an appointment in Cary, North Carolina on August the 5th. I told him I didn’t want to go; “I’m tried of going to doctors”

We talked then and two days later about why I should go. When he had me talked into doing it, he had it worked out with the other side to have a company and a driver to come and get me and take me home. That was half of the problem solved. I prayed that God would give me the strength to do the rest. Thursday, August the 5th came and as promised a driver called Craig arrived at 11:30 am.

I half expected for him not to show. But there he stood waiting when I waited out of the house. He helped me into the van he was driving. Then he helped Riley into the van. When all were settled, out the drive we went.

Craig was pleasant and easy to talk with. By the time we got to Lumberton, I was hungry and said so. Craig stopped and we had lunch and quickly got back on the road, taking as few potty breaks as possible so we would make our 3:00 PM appointment. Walking into the office, we were greeted by Ed as he had promised. He sat with me and filled out paper work and then introduce me to Anne, the mediating nurse.

Finally, I was asked by the office personnel to go to the back with her to see the doctor. I’d already asked Craig to help push me back. As we started back with Riley in hand, she told me Riley could not go back. Riley fought to to go…that’s his job after all. I didn’t argue and ask Ed to watch him.

In the doctor’s office, he checked me and asked questions. It wasn’t too long before the office personnel came in , asked if the dog could joins us because he was causing a disturbance because he was separted from me. The doctor said, “H can come back. When Rile;y came back, he stood up, put his paws on my shoulder and said in dog language, “They kept in the other room; I tried to go with you.” I told him, “I know, It‘s okay.” Happy that I knew what happened, he lay down next to my feet and was happy and quiet the rest of the meeting.

When the meeting was over and we could leave, I told Criag I was hunry so he took me to eat at the Golden Corral. I hadn’t eaten much all day because I was afraid I’d have an accident.

It had started to rain. We almost had another accident because someone in the other lane tried to cut Craig off. It was stressful going home but we made it home all in one piece. I was exhausted.

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Aug 14 2010

Teaching Children…Part12…Page 86

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     August 10, 2010
      Martyna Livy,
      I have thought about why you and others like you have this mad obsession to drive a wedge between your spouse and other members of his family. What is the driving force? Why do you do horrible things to cause this friction. What happened so that you want to hurt? You don’t know the family members; you only know that you don’t want your spouse to have— anyone except you in his life. You are sick! You are mentally sick. No one is an island unto himself. If you hold a watermelon seed in your hand and squeeze, you will see that the seed will move toward existing the hand. In fact, the harder you hold on, the more the seed try’s to get out of your hand!
      Since you and my son who I love and need in my life at this time, I’ve tried to understand your obsession. You don’t even realize that you are making him miscible. He may not know himself. He only knows that he is depressed. He may try to be a good husband; he may try to be a good father; but inside he is depressed and dying. You thought that if you separated him from his family, you would be happy, but you aren‘t. By separating them, he resents you secretly.He starts to see the meanness and evilness that you possess. The love begins to die.
       He ask for a simple request of putting the children to sleep early so he can have some time to himself . And so in the morning, he can have time to sleep a little longer before he gets up and goes to a long day of work. You say that you will but you don’t. You let the children stay up to all times of the night and when the next day comes, you sleep in without giving him any help at all. The anger builds, driving a wedge of discontent in his heart and secretly hate grows. He begins to realize other secrets–Dylan doesn’t look or act like him. Who does he look like—not him or anyone in his family. Where he was willing to over look before, now he’s not.
      His mother looks on and knows the sadness in his heart. She sees but does nothing for she knows that he has to realize that he must come to terms with his depression and from where it is coming. She must wait. While she waits, she thinks of the things Martyna has done to cause problems. When she walked in the door after they arrived, there was the metal dog crate that Martyna shoved onto the formal dining table, a priceless piece of furniture. She knew that the dogs had been in it , urinating and shitting in it.She was sure it would cause her mother- in-law to say something. When she didn’t and simple took the crate ,shoes, other suitcase, purse and put them elsewhere, Martyna made another attempt. She pointed out that Riley was doing something she did not like and brought Zeke’s attention to what was happening. That did it. It brought tension between the mother and son. She continued with such diversions the rest of the evening so Zeke could not get his work on his home business done.
      She continued getting him to take her somewhere without asking Mother along, she allowed to let the children wreck the house without giving the proper “NO” and a pat on the hand. Saying that it was easier on them to let the kids do what they wanted and that everyone should child proof their house. Children who grow up this way are being given a fault sense of security. Society is not going to let them do whatever they want. Take something in a store or someone’s house and they get sent to jail. The skills of teaching children how to act in society much began when they can move about. If you aren’t doing this, you are failing as a parent. Get off your ass, get a job,and put the children in daycare where they know how to teach the children.
Martyna Levy, When I suggested that you need to be saying things for Dylan, even writing the words would help later on with reading, You turned up your nose and later were told by a therapist that he had delayed speech. You are not so smart. I don’t think you should be home schooling. You’ve got a lot to learn in many areas. 
You have no manners, you think of no one but yourself and one day you will be where I am. Because you have done your best to severer my son’s relationship with me, you have also put an end to his getting an inheritance from me. You see; since he can’t help me now when I need him, I will be forced to hire someone to help me, taking away what money I might have been able to save for him and his children. You are really a selfish person. What you put out there in this world, it will come back on you and your’s. The Bible says “the sins of the parent shall be visited upon the children. If you teach your child to be selfish; and I can see Dylan being that way already, he will treat you that way as well.

It did not dawn on you that I have worked all my life to have what I have. I did not have a husband who honored his marriage vows, so it was up to me. What you see in my home is what I have struggled to have and I don’t appreciate someone like you coming in and destroying it. Another thing that you will be faced with is old age. If you are not able to put away and take care of it, you will soon find yourself with nothing.

I hope you give my letter some thought.

Sincerely,

The mother-in-law for whom you have never addressed by her name, another example of no manners or proper up-bringing.

PS: I fear that Dylan and Ethan have a lot to over come with your parenting .

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Aug 1 2010

She Might As Well Be Pouring The Vodka Into Their Mouths…Part 11…Page 85

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      When they returned that evening, I went to sit with them in the living room. Zeek sat in the rocker with the little stand next to it. She sat in the other rocker next to the fireplace and started breast feeding both boys, at the same time. I could not help watching the boys nurse. After awhile she took the boys to bed and came back into the living room. She came demanding that they be allowed back into the library.
      I replied, “ No, you destroyed it and made no effort to clean up behind yourselves and the dogs. I do not want dogs in my room where I had worked so hard to fix it up.
      They both protested, “ We do not feel welcome here! Zeek continued, “ Do You want us to go get a hotel room?”
      “No, but I’m not going to let you turn my home upside down, destroying it. Martyna came back out of the bedroom, “We spent a lot of money coming to see you.”
     “No you didn’t spend it to come see me. You haven’t spent any time with me. You’re busy going somewhere and don’t invite me to join you, or you go into another room and lock the doors,” I replied.
      She began calling me names and insulting me, bringing up that I had shouted at her in her home.
     “You are wrong. You were the one doing the shouting and calling me a bitch and to get out.
      She shamed her mother and Dad when she said that I was eyeing her. I returned, “As God is my witness, I wasn’t eyeing you. She continued, ”I don’t believe in God and that stuff.”
      “Well, I do and I’ll say it again, As God is my witness, I wasn’t eyeing you, I was watching the children.” I think that you all should go ahead and leave tomorrow. I’ll tell you something else, I don’t like you. The first time, I met you, I tried to hung your neck and you pushed me back, causing me to almost fall backward…You said, “You don‘t know me; how could you love me.. You were so negative. “I’m never going to like you and quiet frankly I’m tried of trying. I got up and left the room. I went and laid down. Then I remembered to take my insulin. My heart was beating so hard. I didn’t want another stroke. My head was hurting, an indication of a stroke unless I clamed down. Martyna said, “There you go putting on an act; there is nothing wrong with you. Zeek did not come to my aid. He said nothing to stop her cruel and hateful attitude.
      I went to bed and said nothing more to either of them.
      The next morning, The nurse’s assistant came, fixed my breakfast and my day began. I saw Zeek out side walking the little dog. Dylan was playing with the big frogs.
      Zeek came in and asked to talk with me. I rode my electric wheelchair up close to him. He said with tears in his voice. I’m going to take a break from the family. Not forever, but for now. I’m so depressed. I’ depressed like I was when I was  sixteen…I haven’t told Matthew yet.
      If you think that is best, I will support you in that decision. “Can I touch you?” He pushed his hands through his hair and said, “I was really worried about you after you had the strokes.” I reached and touched his upper arm.
      “Maybe we will see each other again one day.” I said.
      He got up, walked to the back door and said, “You can go live with Julie!”     
       The night before, I was so angry by the things that Martyna was saying that I said with out thinking, I’ll just stay in North Carolina and die here.” What I meant to say was that I did not want to live near Martyna.
She has a black heart. She is the boil on society’s but and I do not want to live near her.
       I know that you have meet someone like her…she try’s to cause trouble between other members of the family.
      When they were gone, I was sad. I thought how she had goated me into saying something I hadn’t intended on saying. She did it every time Zeek and I were together. Then I remembered seeing her standing up next to the fireplace drinking Smirnoff’s vodka. How could she drink and nurse at the same time. She’d made a comment that little Ethan walked like a little drunk.”
I felt angry again. She really is a vile woman. The dangers she is doing to the children. Her milk is full of vodka. She might as well be pouring it directly into their mouths.I felt angry again. She really is a vile woman. The dangers she is doing to the children. Her milk is full of vodka. She might as well be pouring it into their mouths. Anything that a woman eats or drinks while she is nursing goes into her milk. Ethan probably was drunk from drinking his mother’s milk. Is it any wonder that he walked like he was drunk?
     It took me four weeks to get over Zeke and Martyna coming to stay, but after awhile, something wonderful happened. I ate my Raman soup with onions and sat on the living room couch. The soup was warm and comforting. Within a few minutes, I fell asleep. I was relaxed, no turmoil inside, only happiness. I slept for several hours.
      When I came out of my sleep, I still felt happy and I looked at my house as though I had never seen it before. It was beautiful! It had a freshness and loveliness I loved. As I wandered from one room to another, I was in awl; it was just the way I would have done it. I fell in love with my house; my home again. Without a doubt, I wanted this house and no other. I didn’t want to move. 

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Aug 1 2010

Why Are Good Manner Important…Part11…Page 84

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      Speaking of Zeek and his wife Martyna, they came to visit on the 4th of July. When Zeek said they were coming and bringing the children, I was ecstatic! I would finally get to see the second child, Ethan.
      When they arrived, they were so busy bringing in suitcases and things they would need for their stay, I didn’t get to hug any one’s neck. I was determined to make it a good visit.
      When everyone was settled in the living room, I took Dylan to the kitchen to get the small boxes that I had collected for them to play with. I did it so they could see that you can be creative and make something into something else. I showed them how you could pour them from the container and then put them back in the container. Teaching them the terms: pouring and putting the boxes back in the container. He was excited and was learning the terms: boxes, pouring, stacking, etc. They found other things in my living room to play with.
      I watched as Dylan and Ethan played. It was a joy just to watch them play. They brought two dogs as well. Zeek had asked and I’d said he could bring Jake, the pit bull, but I’d ask that they not bring the little dog Bailey because, he was not trained. He must have not heard me when I said that. I didn’t say anything for I wanted it to be a good trip.
      My CNA knew I was anxious for Martyna to be coming because she tried to cause problems between my son and I. Still I was determined to do my best to be a gracious host to her. I thought I was doing pretty good until I went into the kitchen and my CNA speaking softly, told me that Martyna was pointing out things that would cause problems between Zeek and me. I felt hurt and disturbed by this.    They came back and they went into my library, taking the dogs and the children. When I tried to go in to be with them, the door was locked. They had the television on so I went to bed .
      The next morning, when the CNA arrived to fix my breakfast, I let her in and went in the library to see what was the noise in the library. She had put the wire pen on the carpet and Jake was also in there sitting in the middle of my restored antique couch. “Oh, my God”. The smell of urine and the dog shit filled the room. They had been shut up in the library and definitely were not taken out before going to bed. My CNA  helped me take the dogs outside and clean the room. I had my breakfast and then she helped me get my bath. I was coming out of the bedroom and stated to Zeek and Martyna that the CNA has to help me with my bathe each day.
They said they were gong out for lunch at Whiteville. They make no apology for the mess they and their dogs had made in the library. Again, they did not ask me to join them. Instead, they left the dogs there for me to tend, and without asking. My feelings were hurt again. It’s hard enough for me to care for my own service animal Riley. I thought this action showed lack of care and was rude so I closed the library for use.

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Jul 14 2010

Ramen Noodle Soup…Part 11…[Page 83

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      I continue to wait. Wait for Mr. Ron Pervasion of Southern Materials to do the right thing… to give me back my life. You ask how can one person do that for another.
      Money is not every thing, but it can help to repair the damage that has been done by the injuring party or someone working for you that did the harm. Most persons who have been in an accident will never be the same again. I’m lucky to be alive. The doctors at Loris Hospital call me a miracle. To hear them talk, by all counts I should be dead if not by the accident and injuries, but they wanted to take me off life support because the doctors thought my brain was dead.
      I’m alive today by the grace of God. He carried me when I could not walk. He feed me when I could not eat. God breathed life back into my mangled body.
      Mr. Ron wants me to compare my handicaps from before the accident to those that I have now. What about the years lost while laying in a hospital bed; what are they worth. How about the pain and struggle to be more than a vegetable that would be a burden to my children. What’s it worth to my children to go through the pain of losing their mother? For all the time I spent in the hospitals, my children thought I was dying.
      What’s it worth for the one who killed me, not to go to jail for Vehicular homicide? If it was me who had killed someone with my car or truck, I would be so grateful that I’d do what ever I could to give them back their life. There is no comparison before the accident and now. I’ve been fighting to get some semblance of my life back. Every day, I struggle to walk, to keep my blood pressure under control because when its very high like 200/100 or more it means that I’m more likely to have another stroke or heart attack. If this occurred there would be more damage to my body, less likely that I’d survive at all.
     It is a miracle that I survived the accident, that I’m able to talk, that I’m able to use my hands, and that I can walk at all. I’m in pain every day and will be the rest of my life, but there are those that do not know me such as Zeke’s wife. She looks at my body and without having any knowledge of what it feels to have an attaché of Tack-a- cardio or to have your hands burn everyday from damage from the wreck. The headaches that tell of a coming stroke. I pray for help and then do what I’ve learned helps. I fix a bowl of Ramen noodle soup with ½ cup raw onion mixed with the noodle. It helps with the thinning of my blood and it protects from clots forming. I get tried of eating it every day, but then it’s helping to keep me alive.
 

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Jun 20 2010

Forgive Them Father For They Know Not What They Do…Part 10…Page 82

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      It is the fourth year after being killed at the intersection of Reynolds and Peacock Road. Yes, I said it right! The driver behind the black truck failed to observe the stop sign and ran into Jerry Ray’s car, making it look like a large horse shoe with me trapped inside. As I came to, I said, “Jerry my leg doesn’t have a foot on it. I’ve lost my foot.”
      She replied, “I know; I’m so sorry,” and began to cry.
       Knowing that I was loosing a lot of blood and would die soon, I said, “Hurry, Please Hurry!” to the men outside trying to pry open the car and get me out. I took off my jewelry and handed it and my purse to Jerry. “Take care of this for me.” I knew it would not be long. The ambulance came and asked which hospital? Thinking fast I knew if I was to have any chance, I had to get to the closest Hospital and that would be Loris. As I felt the last bit of life drain from my body, I said, “Loris.” Laying my head back against the car seat, I died.
      Feeling that same urgency, I feel I might have another stroke because I can’t get the medicine I need. My blood Pressure is in the dangerous zone. Unless I get Cardizem to help bring it down; I’ll have a stroke that will do more damage than either of the other two; it may be one that kills.
      If this is not enough to worry about, The County Tax Office has sent me a final notice saying that they will take legal action if it is not paid upon receipt of this notice. I do not understand why they feel the need to put pressure on me. I’ve paid my taxes every year until this year. The county gives 50% off the taxes of the land of a disabled person which helps a lot. Living off a Disability check is no easy feat so forcing us to have to pay a yearly trash pick up of $200 is much like the President giving us a rebate and then charging heavy taxes. My yearly tax is $146. I could managed to pay this until the yearly trash pick-up fee became mandatory. That’s  more than my land taxes. I can not continue to pay this, but it will not matter any way. Three years ago, Caps program came to tell me about the program, how it was funded and how it worked. I needed the help because I was not able to do for myself since the 2007 accident. I was asked to sign an agreement that my house and land would go to Medicaid for the help I needed now. I signed the agreement and am living on borrowed time. I don’t know how long I’ll live and I was glad I could make this agreement. I’m glad God made a way for me to get the help I need. I used to be proud I lived in Columbus County, but now, I’m not because those in charge have no feeling for those who have fallen on hard times through sickness. Jesus said to God, “ Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.”

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Apr 30 2010

Drex Died…Part 10…Page 80

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      My brother Drex died the 20th of April. It has been very hard for me to accept. Why did God save me from the wreak and not save my brother from his surgery. Some explain it by saying, “It wasn’t your time to go.” Do we each have a particular time to go? Someone told me that they had prayed for Drex to die because he was in so much pain. Why not pray that his pain be taken away and let him live?
      It’s hard to accept that my big brother is dead. I see the leaves stirring in the wind and wonder why did it have to be so.
      He had so much to live for. He’d met and started dating a beautiful lady called Peggy. In two months, a tender growth of feelings had joined their hearts into one. Peggy, left here on earth, wondered why God would give and then take away Drex.
      We don’t understand. And, because it is hard to understand, we find ourselves sliding into a depressed state. It’s hard to even let go of our depression because by doing so, we are letting him go.
      The night before he was to be buried, his family was gathered at my house. We were sitting around in the living room, telling stories of Drex and the rest of his brothers and me. All of a sudden the clock in the kitchen started playing the Beatles’ song Michelle. It played this song over and over for thirty-five minutes until my brother Glenn took the clock down and took the battery out. I told him not to do that, but he didn’t listen. “That’s Drex letting us know that he is here with us.” I said. That clock has ten songs on it and plays one each hour, but never has it played the same song for thirty-five minutes. That song had special meaning for Drex. He was going to call his only daughter Rachelle, Michelle. “Michelle, my belle…. It was no mistake and I knew it. Drex was trying to communicate with us the living.
      Our spirits never die so why is it so hard for people to accept that a loved one that has passed might try to communicate with us? “What we can not understand, we attempt to deny it’s existence,” let me say. “It’s okay, Drex. I knew it was you. I will miss you here, on earth.
      Peggy and I have met as you wanted us to do. We have become sisters. Thank you for bringing her into my life. We will not forget you and will keep your memory alive.
      The picture that I took of you in Texas was used in the funeral as was your hat and gloves that you always wore. It was a beautiful touch to a beautiful soul. God forgives us our sins and cleans up our souls bright and shiny like the holy grail, forgiven and forgotten. God blessed you, Drex. He gave you a good mind and a purpose and a purpose of what to do with it. He taught you the word and gave you the talent to spread it around.

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Apr 13 2010

Spring Is Here!…Part 10…Page 79

Posted by Sandra McLeskey under Uncategorized, all categories, want-to-be-writers | Permalink | | Leave A Comment | No Comments

      Like magic, Spring appears. No more cold winds, no more dead still life outside, and no more solitude because you can’t bear to get out in the cold. After a season of death, the ground warms the seeds. Germination starts and life begins again. Dogwood trees awake like a sleepy child, stretching his limbs. The sun moves closer to watch the daffodils push through the ground and pop open their gold, warming the earth even more. Snow Drops on stems of green measure the long wait for Spring.
      The arthritis hurts less. The joints move with more ease. Can it be that I’m losing that old man disease? Yes! My thoughts are coming in loud and clear. Spring is here!
      I do my best writing when I feel good. So many days now, I don’t feel good. My heart wants to write, but my body says, “No. I don’t want to write. I want to take a nap.” My body hurts, especially my hands. Numbness persist on my left side. “Enough already!” I scream in my mind.
      For some, they have an accident, recover, and are able to go on with a normal life, but for me, it is a never ending episode of medical problems. I hope that my trial regarding my accident will bring some closure for me.
      While I sit and wait, I pray, not for me but for my brother Drex. I had three brothers. Nicky, the eldest died. Drex is the second brother. And, I have one younger; that would be Glenn. Drex had heart surgery and while waiting to recover, he had liver failure which put his body in distress. His liver caused his kidneys to fail and he must have dialysis now to get the poisons out of his system. Hopefully, when his liver gets better so will his kidneys. It all works together. When you think about it, it’s like a puzzle.
      I went this last week to Loris Hospital in Lois and had  a Venus (I think that’s what it was called.) ultra-sound. It was interesting to watch the vessels close and open. It showed whether there were any blockages. In my case, there were none, thank God. The search is still on to find out why I’m having numbness all up and down my left side. So far, I’ve had 13 vales of blood draw. MRI done. I’m to have an EEG done and an curative artery ultra-sound done this week. And in May, I’m to have another sleep study done.
      I will be so glad when I can just be! No more test, no more doctors, and no more sickness. Just to be a normal sixty-one year old grandmother.
      I’ll be glad when I can write something fun again, like a novel or short story. When you can make up characters, and have them behave sinfully, shamefully, scandalously, smart, silly…. On and on I could go. You get to make up your characters, your setting, where your story takes place, etc.

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Mar 26 2010

What An Accident Can Do…Part 10…Page 78

Posted by Sandra McLeskey under Uncategorized, all categories, want-to-be-writers | Permalink | | Leave A Comment | No Comments

      When I was put in the hospital, the insurance man that represented the one driving the truck, came to offer my son $300,000. My son not knowing what to do, went to my attorney Leah King. He did the right thing. A friend told him don’t sign anything! So the wait began. Because my son didn’t sign the paper and take the money, the insurance company would not give any information to my attorney. Everyone knows that after an accident in North Carolina, they give the two parties three years to media and come to a conclusion about the damages and what should be a fair price for damages. Huh? Let’s see, what is my life worth? killed? brought back to life? foot cut off? tac-a-cardia, surgery to fix my heart? lungs- so mess up had to be on ventilator for six weeks, punctured lung? This is only part of the list of damages to my body.
      I’ve been struggling since the accident on April 24,2007. Struggling to remain alive, struggling to regain my skills and ability to do everything from walking to feeding myself, etc., and struggling to keep my wits about me during it all.
     I ’ve learned that the company who insuranced the man that hit me is filing bankruptcy. Can things get any worst? I hope not. I know that all this will pass and I’ll look at this time as a memory.
      I asked for help a couple of days ago and I’d like to thank two persons who responded to my call for help, you know who you are, but I’d like to acknowledge your giving. One lady gave me one hundred seventy five dollars and said, “ Paid it forward.” God bless you. I got another bill from the electricity company today. It seems that they had not included March’s bill and the total is $1781.71 now. I’ve turned off my heat; I did that the day they called to tell me the first time. The other person was a pastor. He called to tell me that he and his church will try to help. He had some questions to ask first. He wanted to know was this really for my electricity. “ I said. “Yes, you can call the electric company.” He said, “You would be surprised, but people have asked for money for things like this before and then go use it to buy drugs. I thanked him for being so direct.
      It has been hard since the accident. Not only am I trying to get better and need things I wouldn’t have needed except for the accident, but money is spread so thin that I can’t see it on the bread. So once more, I urge you to give. Give what you can even if it is only a dollar or two. I would really appreciate it.
      For each one, who reads and act on this calling for help, God will bless you. No matter what the amount and I thank you for your generosity.

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